There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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