Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
