I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
