I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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