Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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