Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
