my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
