I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
