His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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