Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
