U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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