There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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