WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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