youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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