Already got asked if we're dating
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
