my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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