I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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