I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
