Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
