I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
