Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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