I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
