I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
