I want you more than these girls want KFC
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
