halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
