My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
