Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
