well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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