Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
