In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the condom got lost in my hair
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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