Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
