Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
