I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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