I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
