fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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