so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
even my farts smell like vagina
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
