Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
