So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
