there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
