First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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