cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
