Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
