So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
