Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
