This girl is more easily done than said...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
