let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
