Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
