Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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