They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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