And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
